What manipulative tactics are used to maintain control and power over former partners once the relationship is over? In this episode, Dr. Z unpacks the emotional fallout of a breakup with a narcissist and tackles the fears that arise when they move on to someone new. Why does it feel like their new partner is getting the idealized version of them you tried so hard to keep? And what does this reveal about their behavior patterns?

“The abuser often maintains that facade of having it together and looking after their partner. It’s that image we tried to set up immediately,” says award-winning director Jack Stockley. He opens up about his true purpose behind his short film “Purgatory,” - to reveal the quiet devastation of coercive control in abusive relationships. By portraying the abuser as charming and well-composed, Jack exposes a disturbing duality that keeps the abused partner isolated and questioning their own reality. His film’s nuanced storytelling challenges viewers to see beyond appearances and recognize the silent suffering hidden beneath the surface.

“The liability is not yours to own; it’s the narcissist’s. Let it smother them, not you.”

Dr. Jaime Zuckerman takes a closer look at what life looks like when a narcissistic ex still finds ways to create chaos, even after the relationship has ended. How does one protect their peace and their children’s well-being when post-separation abuse seems designed to undermine it? From stirring up conflict with their children’s teachers and coaches to resurfacing hidden debts, the narcissistic ex can remain a powerful disruptor. Dr. Z shares practical insights for those navigating these situations, including how to set boundaries, how to communicate openly with children, and how to address character smear campaigns without giving the narcissist the attention they crave.

“People are so quick to label somebody antisocial or narcissistic. Just because you disagree with someone, or they lied to you, or they were manipulative, doesn’t mean they have narcissistic personality disorder. But they can certainly have traits,” says Dr. Lina Haji, a licensed clinical and forensic psychologist and licensed mental health counselor.

“The narcissist will never be able to fix their corrupt disorder. It is a rigid disorder,” says Vanessa Reiser, a licensed clinical social worker and author who specializes in narcissistic and cult abuse. She joins Dr. Z to talk about the striking similarities between narcissistic relationships and cult dynamics, focusing on how coercive control plays a role in both.

“I really want to change the culture and the way we treat and value ourselves in the equation. I truly believe our stories have the power to change culture,” says Dr. Jessi Gold, reflecting on her book, “How Do You Feel? One Doctor’s Search for Humanity in Medicine.” In this episode, she joins Dr. Z to talk about the mental health struggles facing healthcare professionals, especially the high rates of burnout and the stigma attached to seeking help.

“Toxic family systems are run like a cult,” says Dr. Sherrie Campbell, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in family estrangement and toxic relationships. She joins Dr. Z this week to talk about the lasting damage narcissistic family members can inflict—not just on the immediate family but also on extended relatives and friends. Sharing insights from her own experience with toxic parenting, Dr. Campbell explains the roles of the golden child and the scapegoat, pointing out the often overlooked pressure on the golden child as well as the emotional burden carried by the scapegoat.

“This is for everyone. Everyone needs to learn how to identify the reg flags within the family court system and how to navigate this process, particularly in custody cases when you have very little support behind you,” begins Dr. Z. Joining her this week are Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, known as Dr. C, a coercive control educator and researcher, and Amy Polacko, an award-winning journalist and divorce coach. Both women, having survived domestic abuse, have turned their personal pain into a mission for change. Their newly released book, “Framed: Women in the Family Court Underworld,” shines a spotlight on the damaging impact of coercive control and systemic injustices women face in family court.

“The decision to go no contact with a parent is a last resort. It is a last resort of self-protection against years of manipulation and abuse,” says Dr. Z. She explains how going no contact means cutting off all forms of communication—calls, texts, and social media—and is a decision that is typically made only after enduring long-term emotional pain. It’s a decision never made lightly, as it often comes with feelings of tremendous guilt, grief, and loss.

“When we talk about narcissistic abuse, we understand that this form of abuse is very nuanced and hard to identify as an outsider,” says Dr. Z. This episode dives into the emotional and complex challenge of supporting someone in a narcissistic abusive relationship, as Dr. Z unpacks the intricate dynamics at play.

“If you and your partner are experiencing friction, consider whether there are things going on in your lives—whether it’s a few really big chronic issues, a lot of little constant acute issues, or a mix of both—that could be contributing to this,” advises Liz Earnshaw, a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified Gottman therapist, and founder of A Better Life Therapy.

“A lot of people don’t realize that there’s narcissistic abuse occurring in friendships because we don’t really think of it in that context,” says Dr. Z. When we talk about narcissistic abuse, it’s usually in the context of intimate or family relationships. This week, Dr. Z highlights an often-overlooked reality: it can happen in friendships too, and it can be just as insidious and psychologically damaging.

“I thought I met the man of my dreams, and he turned out to be one of the biggest con men in history,” shares Benita Alexander, a highly accomplished journalist and executive producer. In this episode, she joins Dr. Z to recount her harrowing experience with love fraud at the hands of Dr. Paolo Macchiarini. Benita’s story, featured in the Netflix documentary “Bad Surgeon: Love Under the Knife” and the Wondery podcast “Dr. Death,” serves as a chilling reminder that even the most intelligent and successful individuals can fall victim to the manipulative blueprint of narcissists.

“In a narcissistically abusive relationship, sex can become a tool of weaponry, a tool of control,” declares Dr. Kate Balestrieri, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist. In this episode, she joins Dr. Z to unpack the intricate relationship between sex and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

In this episode, Dr. Z delves into the complex dynamics between narcissistic mothers and their adult daughters. She discusses how the behavior patterns of narcissistic mothers challenge societal norms of the mother/daughter relationship and have a profound impact on their daughters’ self-esteem and mental health.

Dr. Z also addresses the grieving process daughters of narcissistic mothers must go through once they come to accept the relationship will never be what they hoped for. She emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and offers practical strategies for managing these dynamics.

Tune in to this episode of Next Up: Narcissism for Dr. Z’s compassionate and empowering insights, aimed at helping listeners break free from narcissistic abuse and move towards a healthier, happier life.

“I was in a quintessential trauma bond with my ex-husband, the ‘Wolf of Wall Street,’ Jordan Belfort,” says Dr. Nadine Macaluso. “It started, as most trauma bonds do, with love bombing and promises of love and adoration forever, along with extreme affection. It was very intense and fast-paced, and then it blew up like many trauma bonds do.”

“They actually thrive and enjoy being in this drama, trauma, and chaos, getting people stirred up,” says Rebecca Zung, describing high conflict personalities. In this episode, Dr. Z talks with Rebecca, a top-ranked trial lawyer, high conflict negotiator, and international bestselling author of “Slay the Bully: How to Negotiate with a Narcissist and Win.”

“What is happening behind closed doors of the family court system would horrify everyone in the country and around the world if they truly knew,” says Tina Swithin, renowned family court advocate, author of the “Divorcing a Narcissist” book series, blogger and owner of One Mom’s Battle, and founder of the High Conflict Divorce Coach Certification Program. In this episode, Dr. Z and Tina discuss the often deeply flawed family court system, particularly in cases involving high-conflict divorce.

“In today’s society, we’re often taught that these are two very separate things,” says Dr. Z as she delves into the impact that narcissistic abuse can have on physical health. “It couldn’t be further from the truth. Our brains and our bodies are one, and you really need to think about yourself in terms of how those two things are connected.”

Today, the word “narcissist” is frequently thrown around and used within inappropriate contexts, such as a broad label for “toxic” individuals. How, then, do we differentiate between someone with unhealthy patterns and the manipulative behaviors of a person with NPD? In this episode, Dr. Z talks with Dr. Les Carter, a clinical psychologist and founder of Surviving Narcissism, who provides deep insights into narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) including its specific cognitive processes and behaviors.